just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
