You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
