I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we made out on top of his cat.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
