She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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