I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
