I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
