1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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