very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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