All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize