You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
