Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
