Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
home. puking in laundry basket.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
