dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize