D3 body, D1 cock
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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