he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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