Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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