I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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