We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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