spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
