She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
