I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
