he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
