sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
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