and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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