we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
