I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
