There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
