id be glad to
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Randomize
