hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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