Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
