Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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