I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize