i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
