By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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