Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
