College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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