dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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