ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
