whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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