just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
should my penis look like a turkey
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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