of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Randomize
