My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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