I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
