ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.