so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
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Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
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that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid