Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy