those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend