my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
