You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize