Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
