So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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