yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
