So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
What drink are we having for lunch?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
