What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
