i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
