I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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