You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize