Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
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Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
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started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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