I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
