You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We are two peas in an std pod
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
