I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
