soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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