I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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