Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
