writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
