a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
