I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
