An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Houston, we have a blender
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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