I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
