You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize