I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
this hospital has no fireball
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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