i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
