Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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