I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
