jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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